Dear Editor,
I was absolutely devastated to discover, not ten minutes prior to writing this letter, a horrible truth concerning our campus. I was informed that the sound of our bell - that beautiful, resonating tone that I so delighted in hearing relate the time - is in fact a fabrication. A lie. It's simply a speaker that very convincingly imitates the sound. I feel offended. In fact, I feel the magic of the school has most definitely diminished for me in light of this revelation.

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